Even the happiest relationships have their ups and downs. It’s normal to have arguments sometimes or feel distant from your partner. You might even complain about them to your friends.
But when does a tough time in a relationship become a sign that it won’t last?
According to an expert, there’s one clear sign that often means a relationship is doomed. In a Reddit thread where people discussed what shows a couple might not last long, one user shared advice from a marriage counselor. They said, “I was at a party once and talked to a marriage counselor who had been helping couples for over 20 years. I asked her what the biggest sign was that a couple wouldn’t make it. Without hesitation, she replied, ‘If one person shows contempt for the other’s feelings, it’s over!'”
So, what does contempt really mean?
Kristen Mark, a sex and relationship researcher, explained to The Knot that contempt can look like mocking your partner, talking down to them, or being sarcastic in a hurtful way.
Other people on Reddit shared their thoughts on when a relationship should end. One person said, “I think it’s when you just don’t care anymore. You don’t want to fight, be intimate, or make any effort.”
Another user mentioned, “If you’re asking friends if you should break up, it usually means you’ve already made up your mind and just want someone to agree with you.”
A third person added, “If you find yourself daydreaming about being single again, trust your gut; it’s usually right.”
Jeff Guenther, a therapist from the US, pointed out five major problems that couples might struggle to fix.
First, if you stop doing the little things like flirting or giving each other compliments, it can create a big gap between you that’s hard to fix.
Second, if you keep arguing about the same issues over and over, it’s a sign that your relationship might be heading for a breakup.
Jeff also mentions that if you start growing apart or wanting more independence, it could indicate that your relationship is ending.
Lastly, if one person begins to have feelings for someone else, it’s usually a clear sign that things are over.
He explains, “Redirecting your feelings towards someone else makes it really tough, if not impossible, to fix the original relationship.”
